Have you ever had a dream(s) of having something nice or becoming someone in the future? I have! Ever since I was a little girl, I've had this big dream of becoming someone...I used to fantasize and imagine how my life would be all the time..in a way, it gave me strength to carry on. It was something to reach for and work harder for it.. but..
Now of course comes the 'but' part...or well, the reality! When you are little, everything seems so simple and easy for you and you think of course your dream will come true!!! But in real life, a few actually come true!
Why you ask? I think when people grow up, they tend to forget about their childhood dreams and fantasies..they become so envolved with the real world, where there are troubles and problems to deal with.. Or some poeple just lack the courage or will, to make their dreams come true. So, the dreams fade away...
In my case, I still have my dream.. what I lack, is courage, self-confidence and I'm afraid of the world - afraid to get hurt. I see other people going the way I should be heading, but instead, I sit in the dark and just sigh.. 'wish it was me'. I have a couple of people, who despite of all my negativity and my catch phrase' I'm not good enough', still support me and I want to let them know, that I'm really grateful for that. But I want them to also see it from my point of view.. it isn't so easy! If people around me have told me years, that my dream won't pay off in the future (that I won't earn enough money to support myself) and have let me know, that I'm not good compared to others, then how in the world am I supposed to stay positive??? I tell you, it's hard! Of course, I start to believe it myself.
Now some of you might think, that I haven't given it a try and that I have to fight for it etc. etc... And I perfectly understand that it, in my eyes you have to actually work for something you really want! Nothing just COMES to you.. actually, for some people it does and I know some people, who have had an opportunity just FALL in their lap.
I've tried to work towards my dream, but nothing seems to work! Every opportunityI get, eventually FAILS as always, because I'm just a person without any luck. Maybe I haven't tried everything and well enough? perhaps..but at this point, I don't know, where to go one.. or what to do!
At this thought, I'm gonna end my blog for today.. :)
Feel free to leave a comment, if you wish to!
Stay bubbly,
Tiina.
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