Have to get this out...

Have you ever had a dream(s) of having something nice or becoming someone in the future? I have! Ever since I was a little girl, I've had this big dream of becoming someone...I used to fantasize and imagine how my life would be all the time..in a way, it gave me strength to carry on. It was something to reach for and work harder for it.. but..

Now of course comes the 'but' part...or well, the reality! When you are little, everything seems so simple and easy for you and you think of course your dream will come true!!! But in real life, a few actually come true!

Why you ask? I think when people grow up, they tend to forget about their childhood dreams and fantasies..they become so envolved with the real world, where there are troubles and problems to deal with.. Or some poeple just lack the courage or will, to make their dreams come true. So, the dreams fade away...

In my case, I still have my dream.. what I lack, is courage, self-confidence and I'm afraid of the world - afraid to get hurt. I see other people going the way I should be heading, but instead, I sit in the dark and just sigh.. 'wish it was me'. I have a couple of people, who despite of all my negativity and my catch phrase' I'm not good enough', still support me and I want to let them know, that I'm really grateful for that. But I want them to also see it from my point of view.. it isn't so easy! If people around me have told me years, that my dream won't pay off in the future (that I won't earn enough money to support myself) and have let me know, that I'm not good compared to others, then how in the world am I supposed to stay positive??? I tell you, it's hard! Of course, I start to believe it myself.

Now some of you might think, that I haven't given it a try and that I have to fight for it etc. etc... And I perfectly understand that it, in my eyes you have to actually work for something you really want! Nothing just COMES to you.. actually, for some people it does and I know some people, who have had an opportunity just FALL in their lap.

I've tried to work towards my dream, but nothing seems to work! Every opportunityI get, eventually FAILS as always, because I'm just a person without any luck. Maybe I haven't tried everything and well enough? perhaps..but at this point, I don't know, where to go one.. or what to do!

At this thought, I'm gonna end  my blog for today.. :)
Feel free to leave a comment, if you wish to!




Stay bubbly,

Tiina.

Just another Tuesday..

Ugh..so I finally got my russian exam done today, I was kinda afraid of it and saw the words in my dream the whole night :D which wasn't a very pleasant thing. now I'm sitting here and learning for yet another exam, which is tomorrow.. this week is a really crazy one! lots of homework and tests! wish i could just wrap myself in a blanket and sleep for a few days..MUCH NEEDED!!!

The cool school kids are having holidays at this moment, but not in our school..then again, our week schedule is more flexiable than in high school... guess thats's the beauty of college/university :P

So what else? haven't heard from the guys yet, hope to record soon.. since I can feel a little cold coming my way  *Hopefully not*

i seriously always wonder, how come some peopel find so much to write in their blogs? I mean, they are alwasy so interesting  to read..i guess my life  is just boooorrriinnggg :D but maybe someday, it will get more exciting..when all my life doesn't go around just school.

So I'll see you in a few days! Stay bubbly ;)

T.

Parampapapaa..

So it's a new week. This one is going to be really CRAZY!! I have tons of homework to do and some exams..I need more then just 24 hours in a day :P

Also, I think we are recording the song this week *jumps in the air*!!
I'm quite excited for this, since I haven't recorded for a while now and well, never with a solo project.. So this is WICKED!! :D really can't wait to see what comes out.. maybe it's really crappy but oh well :D Only time can tell!

So I'm keeping this short for now :) I have to get back to my lovely schoolwork. Write to you sooon!!


Stay bubbly!!
T.

First one..

I've wanted to start a blog for a while now, but somehow I always drop that thought. Now I finally decided to start this thing and we'll see where it takes me.. No idea, what to talk about here, since my life isn't THAT interesting for anyone to read.. but I guess that's other people's problem, not mine :D I just want to express my feelings in a written way, so if you don't like it, don't read it!

I do have a feeling, that I will mostly write about my music..since that is the most hot topic on the plate at this very moment. Struggles in the music world you might say..

Hoping for the best and until the next blog! ;)

T.